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Pièce de Résistance

Okay, that’s the table arrangements sorted. Now we just need the generator, the hay bales, the fire drums and the poles for the lighting, and we’re on our way to having ourselves a reception venue. Obviously, there’s an endless number of other details to sort out as well – the sound system, the parquet dance …

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Hat’s All, Folks

My grandmother always said that buying a house is just like buying a new hat. I never quite got what she meant there; I guess I always assumed she was being whimsical. But looking back, I can see that she was an unusually independent woman for her day, buying a house for herself using money …

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Jamming on a Theme

Business can mean anything these days. From corporate wheeling and dealing to running a trade blanket at the farmers market, it all comes down to what you want from life. That might mean raking in a fortune, or it might mean getting to spend your days tending garlic plots and observing the cycles of life. …

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One Big Project

It bothers me that there’s a giant building on a hill in Keymore, surrounded by substantial grounds, and no one is doing anything about it. It’s just…sitting there. An enormous home and some valuable land. It all belongs to the Keymore local council since the school shut down, and now no one wants to go …

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Dream Dabbler

The ‘dream kitchen’ may well be an illusion plugged to unsuspecting consumers by lifestyle magazines and… well, kitchen suppliers. But hey – I can still dream, right? Maybe that’s why it’s called a dream kitchen. Besides, if it weren’t for unattainable ideals, we’d never advance towards perfection as a collective, would we? Okay, fine, I’ll …

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Classic Is… What?

I just had this big argument with my family over what the ‘classic’ Australian house is. I mean, I’ve never contemplated such a thing in my life, so I wasn’t in a great position to come up with an answer. Certainly, I struggled to defend my point in the face of my parents and sister, …

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Twilight for Melbourne

You know, with all the weird stuff going on around Melbourne lately, I’m surprised that no one has thought to make an entire publication based around it. Maybe it’s just that no one has any faith in print media anymore, but I really think it could sell if you made it all glossy and collectable, …

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The Lowly Emperor

I chafe under these tight classroom conditions. Do you hear me, peasants? This tightness causes me much chafing! Graaaaaah! My techno-glamour does not help me to squeeze into this tight desk, my large and magnificent fingers struggle to grasp a pencil, and now I must learn about mundane human things, like how some of them …

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Dashing Door Dude

I’m sceptical about this new season of the Great Australian Trade-Off. I try to be sceptical about many things, and this is one of them, especially after the clunky first few episodes. They’ve mostly redeemed themselves at the moment, especially now that it’s gotten to the semi-final, but the rub lies in that fact that …

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Chameleon Feetsies…

Auto correct is a funny thing. I’m pretty sure I wanted this. I wanted a podiatrist clinic open in Cheltenham. When I typed that into the search bar, I was definitely looking for an assortment of clinics down in Cheltenham that deal in podiatry. Or was I?? No, I wasn’t. It’s just that my Chameleon, …

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