One Big Project

It bothers me that there’s a giant building on a hill in Keymore, surrounded by substantial grounds, and no one is doing anything about it. It’s just…sitting there. An enormous home and some valuable land. It all belongs to the Keymore local council since the school shut down, and now no one wants to go near it because…what, it’s haunted? They’re scared of big bad ghosts?

This could be someone’s DIY project. I could bring a fleet of utes up to that building and get to work, especially after what I saw today. I’m talking utes with THE best technology and equipment, the best aluminium ute toolboxes Melbourne has to offer. There’s not as much opportunity for community projects nowadays, so this really could be the next big thing for tradespeople to make their own.

I tell you what, from my initial look at it today, it did look like it needed some serious love and care from a trade professional. Or a hundred. First thing that happened, as soon as I was through the gate, was a tree trunk almost falling on my car. The stairs leading up to the front porch gave way beneath my feet, almost plunging me into total darkness, and the chandelier in the entrance hall swung down and nearly crushed me against the wall. 

Then there were the strange green puddles (it happens), the suits of armour turning their heads to watch me as I walked past (optical illusion, look it up) and the little girl in the red dress and black hair over her eyes who kept appearing in the distance but never coming any closer, whispering in a dark language that carried an unearthly echo before she would burst into crimson flame and sink into the floor (damp wood rot, probably).

I’m just saying, this could be a lovely home with some care and effort. Maybe I just got new aluminium ute canopies fitted, and I’m feeling confident, but I’m sending a letter to the council. It’s a lovely home and it’s going to waste.