Watcher Eye Care

I have finally arrived in Dimension D43, after much effort. Days ago I would have guessed that I’d never make it, as I struggled to read the spell I had inherited from my grandfather. It was an unheard-of experience, a Watcher struggling to read something. As giant floating monsters with one big, central eye and ten eyestalks, it shouldn’t be possible to struggle to read something. The spell scroll was all blurry, though, so I assumed there must be some sort of enchantment on it. I tried countless enchantment-breaking spells to no avail. Eventually, one of my human friends suggested I go to an optometrist and get my eyes checked. He had recently taken his son to a child’s optometrist to get him some glasses. I pointed out that they weren’t likely to have glasses for monsters with eleven eyes, but he thought it would be worth going anyway.

Boy, was he right. Even though I have eleven eyes, the optometrist knew exactly how to help me. The answer was simple: contact lenses. I didn’t even know those were a thing, to be honest. So, if you’re ever looking for the best clinic for Bayside optometry, so long as you are in Dimension J29, where all the Watchers live, the clinic with Dr Biggs is the place to go. Thanks to these contact lenses, I was able to read the spell to open a portal to a new dimension. It’s a good thing, too, because that dimension was really falling apart. Although I was able to find a decent optometrist, I doubt there will be any left in a few weeks. In fact, I’d be surprised if there were any humans left. Yeah, we Watchers have really stuffed up that dimension. Oh well, that’s why we jumped ship. It’s time to see what happens with the next reality. What was that, world fifteen we’ve ruined? It’s a shame, but that’s just the Watcher way.

– Charles the Watcher